The holidays are over and done with, the fun times and the December/festive season excesses have also come to the end.
It is time for a reality check and it is back to the grinding stone. Many of you will have set personal or professional goals to gear you up for success, right? For those whose new year’s resolutions include going to gym and creating summer bodies, now is the time to get on that treadmill, and to those planning a career move or embarking on a business venture, best of luck.
Kids will be going back to school next week, and the class of 2023 is also on tenterhooks awaiting their matric results, which mark the end of their 12 years of schooling. Eskom, the bane of our lives, is back doing adume ngazo, flipping the power switch willy-nilly. Immediately after the festive season reprieve, we are, once again, back to the loathed blackouts and Stage what-what.
Just over a week into the new year, my blood is boiling already. For the life of me, I cannot understand parents who always leave it to the last minute to buy school materials for their children. I ask myself: didn’t these numbskulls get the lists of what will be required when they collected reports on the last day of the school year?
Then, the answer springs to mind that by the way, typical uDarkie always has their priorities all mixed up. Every year, this time, we see these mamparas standing in long queues, and in the scorching heat of the January sun, to buy school uniforms, books and other requirements. As expected, tensions mount in those queues as everyone jostles and hackles to grab everything first while stocks last.
Why didn’t they buy school uniforms and books in December? I ask myself. However, the wise and astute have nothing to worry about because they have all their ducks in a row. The answer to the former is simple and straightforward: some of these idiots were either busy Dezembering or caught up in the KeDezember vibes. Buying school stuff for children was the last thought on their groovists’ minds. Now, there is also rent to be paid and the back-to-school chaos is taking its toll on them. When will we ever learn to budget and plan for things ahead of time?
On the flip side of this comedy show (of uDarkie having no sense of setting priorities) are those who have chowed all their money, bonuses, 13th cheque and all, right to the last brass penny.
It was all fun and games until January came in like a wrecking ball. It creeps in silently, without warning, after the December month of overspending and showing off. AmaTop-shayela are now breathing through the wound.
They are scratching their heads, with regrets, and trying to figure out where to turn to next to borrow money for transport to go to work, let alone money for school transport for their little ones. To these losers, January is the longest month until the next pay day.
Meanwhile, abomashonisa are making a killing this time of the year as their victims are flocking in. Someone put it succinctly on Tik Tok – that throughout January, fridges will be empty and the staple diet and delicacy ekasi will be cabbage as JanuWorry is in full swing, and the next three weeks seem like three months!
If you had planned your things well for this not-supposed-to-be-difficult time of the year and you had it all figured out, kudos to you. You are one of a kind, a cut above the rest. I salute you – for starting the year off on a positive note. All the best in 2024. You are the one after my own heart. You are the smartest!
About the Author
Desmond Pitoyi, is a copy editor, writer, and mentor all rolled into one!
He specialises in Copy Editing, checking grammar, Syntax, creating catchy and punchy headlines and captions, fact-checking, and meeting deadlines while paying attention to the key elements in the story.
He can be contacted at: dvpitoyi@gmail.com | WhatsApp: 27683115504
